by Raymond David Salas
Is it me or has what is considered being “really cool” changing?
Is the “really cool” universal paradigm shifting before my very eyes?
Specifically, has being a nice and good person become the new “really cool”?
I believe that it has.
The Good Can Finish First
I think it was the singing “prophet” Billy Joel who once told us that Only The Good Die Young:
“They say there's a heaven for those who will wait
Some say it's better but I say it ain't
I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
the sinners are much more fun...”
(Billy, you make “good” sound kind of dull and boring when you put it like that.)
I can remember hearing early in my childhood that “Nice guys (and gals) finish last.” It’s an expression that most of us are not only familiar with, but one that many have believed at one time or another. However, as a kid with many so-called “strange” ideas, I always believed as Malcolm Forbes did: "Contrary to the old cliché, genuinely nice guys (and gals) most often finish first or very near it."
The Nice Are Finishing First
If you haven’t noticed already, being a good person has become really hip and cool. I would say that we are now in the era of the “mensch.” Nice people have gone “mainstream” and are now finishing first and at the top in so many ways in our popular culture.
One of the areas where you might not expect to find too many examples of this phenomenon would probably be sports. Although “nice” is a positive word in most contexts, in sports, especially among the top athletes and coaches, it sounds or implies “soft” or not “tough” enough to successfully compete at a high professional level.
After all, how many top professional athletes and coaches do you see genuinely happy and smiling often?
Probably not too many.
Of course, Tiger Woods would be an exception.
Here are some of my other favorite examples:
One of the popular storylines from the 2007 Super Bowl is the head football coach for each team, Tony Dungy (Indianapolis Colts) and Lovie Smith (Chicago Bears). They used to both work together for several years in Tampa Bay. As a result, they are very close friends. What makes this story interesting is that Dungy and Smith are not your typical NFL coaches. They stand out from most of the coaches in the league because of their low-key energy and easy-going demeanor. As one ESPN analyst noted, Dungy and Smith are different. He described them as “calm and serene.” They are nice, mild-mannered guys who happen to be close friends, with both finishing at the top of the National Football League in a sport known for its aggressiveness and violent nature. In this way, they are the exceptions to every rule.
But, they are not the only examples…
Football player LaDanian Tomlinson is the 2006 NFL MVP and Associated Press Offensive Player of the Year. He is a 4-time NFL Pro Bowl selection, who set the all-time NFL record in 2006 for the most touchdowns in a season (31). Interestingly, he is considered to be one of the most humble and classiest athletes in all of sports. For example, in an era where most football players try to outdo each other with their touchdown celebrations, LaDanian simply hands the ball to the referee after each touchdown. He does not participate in any fanfare or celebrating at all. Ironically, he has more touchdowns than anyone else in the league and has plenty of reasons to celebrate.
LaDanian is also a devoted family man and beloved member of the community. He started the Touching Lives Foundation to serve underprivileged families in the San Diego area (where he plays) and his native Texas. Also, after each of his San Diego Chargers’ home games, he hosts “The 21 Club,” where he invites twenty-one children from San Diego area youth groups and nonprofit organizations to attend each game. After the game, he takes them all to a local restaurant for dinner and a night of entertainment. At the end of the night, each child receives a “goodie” bag filled with school supplies, books and games. LaDanian also started the “LT School is Cool” scholarship fund to help support education. The scholarships are funded with the proceeds from his annual charity golf tournament.
LaDanian is an MVP both on and off the field.
Now, of course, football is not the only sport with nice players at the top…
Dwayne Wade is a professional basketball superstar after only three seasons in the NBA. He won the 2006 NBA Final MVP when his team, the Miami Heat, won the 2006 NBA Championship. He is a 3-time NBA All-Star and Sports Illustrated magazine’s 2006 Sportsman of the Year. People magazine voted him one of the 50 Most Beautiful People in 2005. GQ magazine voted him the NBA’s best dressed player in 2006.
As amazing as his accomplishments are on the basketball court, he is known around the league as a constantly smiling, upbeat, soft-spoken and humble person. As sportswriter Henry Abbott wrote: “Wade doesn’t drink, smoke, or use drugs. He talks about God, he tithes, and he’d rather be seen in a suit and tie than a tattoo. He married his high-school sweetheart, whom he has known since he was nine. He is a doting father. He says please and thank you, even to reporters.”
One of Dwayne’s favorite books is “Pride and Prejudice,” which might seem an odd choice for a professional basketball player from the Southside of Chicago. But, as he explains: “Class struggle, overcoming stereotypes and humble beginnings, getting out of your own way and letting love take over: these are things I can relate to, definitely."
Dwayne is a giant both on and off the court.
“True power lies in gentleness. True greatness lies in humility.”
- from my book "Yoga In A Book"
How to Be Really Cool
So, what can we learn from these exceptional sports superstars?
More importantly, what can they teach us all about being really cool now?
The answer: Be really nice.
How can we do this?
By following the suggestion from Conversations With God:
Simply ask ourselves “What would love do now?” and use this as the guide for our actions.
“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” - the Dalai Lama
Is it me or has what is considered being “really cool” changing?
Is the “really cool” universal paradigm shifting before my very eyes?
Specifically, has being a nice and good person become the new “really cool”?
I believe that it has.
The Good Can Finish First
I think it was the singing “prophet” Billy Joel who once told us that Only The Good Die Young:
“They say there's a heaven for those who will wait
Some say it's better but I say it ain't
I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
the sinners are much more fun...”
(Billy, you make “good” sound kind of dull and boring when you put it like that.)
I can remember hearing early in my childhood that “Nice guys (and gals) finish last.” It’s an expression that most of us are not only familiar with, but one that many have believed at one time or another. However, as a kid with many so-called “strange” ideas, I always believed as Malcolm Forbes did: "Contrary to the old cliché, genuinely nice guys (and gals) most often finish first or very near it."
The Nice Are Finishing First
If you haven’t noticed already, being a good person has become really hip and cool. I would say that we are now in the era of the “mensch.” Nice people have gone “mainstream” and are now finishing first and at the top in so many ways in our popular culture.
One of the areas where you might not expect to find too many examples of this phenomenon would probably be sports. Although “nice” is a positive word in most contexts, in sports, especially among the top athletes and coaches, it sounds or implies “soft” or not “tough” enough to successfully compete at a high professional level.
After all, how many top professional athletes and coaches do you see genuinely happy and smiling often?
Probably not too many.
Of course, Tiger Woods would be an exception.
Here are some of my other favorite examples:
- 2007 Super Bowl Coaches
One of the popular storylines from the 2007 Super Bowl is the head football coach for each team, Tony Dungy (Indianapolis Colts) and Lovie Smith (Chicago Bears). They used to both work together for several years in Tampa Bay. As a result, they are very close friends. What makes this story interesting is that Dungy and Smith are not your typical NFL coaches. They stand out from most of the coaches in the league because of their low-key energy and easy-going demeanor. As one ESPN analyst noted, Dungy and Smith are different. He described them as “calm and serene.” They are nice, mild-mannered guys who happen to be close friends, with both finishing at the top of the National Football League in a sport known for its aggressiveness and violent nature. In this way, they are the exceptions to every rule.
But, they are not the only examples…
- LaDanian Tomlinson
Football player LaDanian Tomlinson is the 2006 NFL MVP and Associated Press Offensive Player of the Year. He is a 4-time NFL Pro Bowl selection, who set the all-time NFL record in 2006 for the most touchdowns in a season (31). Interestingly, he is considered to be one of the most humble and classiest athletes in all of sports. For example, in an era where most football players try to outdo each other with their touchdown celebrations, LaDanian simply hands the ball to the referee after each touchdown. He does not participate in any fanfare or celebrating at all. Ironically, he has more touchdowns than anyone else in the league and has plenty of reasons to celebrate.
LaDanian is also a devoted family man and beloved member of the community. He started the Touching Lives Foundation to serve underprivileged families in the San Diego area (where he plays) and his native Texas. Also, after each of his San Diego Chargers’ home games, he hosts “The 21 Club,” where he invites twenty-one children from San Diego area youth groups and nonprofit organizations to attend each game. After the game, he takes them all to a local restaurant for dinner and a night of entertainment. At the end of the night, each child receives a “goodie” bag filled with school supplies, books and games. LaDanian also started the “LT School is Cool” scholarship fund to help support education. The scholarships are funded with the proceeds from his annual charity golf tournament.
LaDanian is an MVP both on and off the field.
Now, of course, football is not the only sport with nice players at the top…
- Dwayne Wade
Dwayne Wade is a professional basketball superstar after only three seasons in the NBA. He won the 2006 NBA Final MVP when his team, the Miami Heat, won the 2006 NBA Championship. He is a 3-time NBA All-Star and Sports Illustrated magazine’s 2006 Sportsman of the Year. People magazine voted him one of the 50 Most Beautiful People in 2005. GQ magazine voted him the NBA’s best dressed player in 2006.
As amazing as his accomplishments are on the basketball court, he is known around the league as a constantly smiling, upbeat, soft-spoken and humble person. As sportswriter Henry Abbott wrote: “Wade doesn’t drink, smoke, or use drugs. He talks about God, he tithes, and he’d rather be seen in a suit and tie than a tattoo. He married his high-school sweetheart, whom he has known since he was nine. He is a doting father. He says please and thank you, even to reporters.”
One of Dwayne’s favorite books is “Pride and Prejudice,” which might seem an odd choice for a professional basketball player from the Southside of Chicago. But, as he explains: “Class struggle, overcoming stereotypes and humble beginnings, getting out of your own way and letting love take over: these are things I can relate to, definitely."
Dwayne is a giant both on and off the court.
“True power lies in gentleness. True greatness lies in humility.”
- from my book "Yoga In A Book"
How to Be Really Cool
So, what can we learn from these exceptional sports superstars?
More importantly, what can they teach us all about being really cool now?
The answer: Be really nice.
How can we do this?
By following the suggestion from Conversations With God:
Simply ask ourselves “What would love do now?” and use this as the guide for our actions.
“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” - the Dalai Lama
